Over

And it´s over. It´s been nearly an year, it could have been another year . I felt I had to dust myself off.

No more switching on my computer while filling my personal water jar and panting with my breathe more for the stuffy air than for the 5 floors or the biking. No more same old faces I got used to nor ambushing the toilette when it´s free.

I´ve been a white collar for a while, and now I wanna pretend to be running around wild, a naïve puppy having shaken the lead off and facing the same old self as if it were any new. Paths stretch out there, I need to choose one and go for it. Till it´s time to change direction, yet again.

My boss just came and quickly embraced me. “Wir sehen uns, wa?” Of course we will.

Whatever was left unsaid, I´ll miss many of these people, the little inside jokes made up in a language we invented not to kill time but not to let the running time kill our braincells.

I´m sure I´ll forget something on my desk. And I guess my shape will be lingering on the chair for a while and my work account will be working and journalists will obliviously write Ms Franchina for whatever query.

I feel weird, somehow numb. I haven´t grasped the extent of this all yet. My resignation says “31.09.2012”, but I had some days off and so it´s today. On Tuesday it´s going to be my personal birthday in Berlin: 365 days. I have no taste for dates, faking a good historian attitude, I think they´re mere conventions.

But hey. I feel wrinkles marking my face. I´ll wake up the same old person, and yet I´ll need to figure out where and how to go. Maybe whom with.

But I guess this journey  preposterously called life is all about stretching out thumbs and being taken / take people on board.

I got a pair of socks for sandals and I have a Jewish name. I guess the (mental) wander begins. Or has it ever stopped really?